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How Does Trauma Bonding Affect Relationships?

A trauma bond is a type of emotional attachment that can form between a victim and an abuser. This type of relationship dynamic is often formed when the victim is confused, dependent on the abuser, and fearful. The victim may even be afraid for their own safety.

Even when a person who forms a trauma bond realizes the relationship isn’t going well, they’re often caught in a vicious cycle that is difficult to break free from. Let’s learn more about how trauma bonding can affect relationships.

The Stages of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding often occurs in a cycle of seven stages. Each of these stages tightens the bond in an unhealthy relationship and serves to create greater dependency on an abuser.

Love Bombing

Love bombing is a stage that happens early on in a relationship. This is when an abuser will try to win over their partner with love and grand gestures. These types of actions make the victim let their guard down and even trust the abuser.

Trust and Dependency

An abuser will attempt to gain trust and even dependence from their victim. By giving a victim hope for the future that never materializes, an abuser can encourage their partner to become more dependent on them and the relationship for happiness.

Criticism

Once they’ve gained trust, an abuser’s true self will start to come out in waves. In this stage, they begin to make their victim feel bad about themselves or place blame on them. The victim may start to believe that they’re at fault or question themselves.

Gaslighting

The abuse can get to the point where a victim will start to question their own reality. This is known as gaslighting. Manipulation and gaslighting are key tactics that an abuser will use in the trauma-bonding cycle.

Resignation and Submission

At some point, a victim will resign and even submit to their abuser. Since they’re constantly left questioning themselves and their reality, they won’t know what to believe. They’ll do anything they can to avoid being in conflict with their partner. These actions can make it feel like everything is going smoothly when their resignation and submission are actually coming from a place of fear.

Loss of Self

In this stage of trauma bonding, the abused partner will lose their self-identity. They might feel disconnected, isolated, and even ashamed of their personal life and relationships.

Addiction

Trauma bonding is a vicious cycle. The mix of abuse and affection can make it difficult for a victim to determine if the abuse is actually happening. They may even become addicted to the feelings that occur when their relationship seems to be going well.

How to Overcome Trauma Bonding

The cycle of trauma bonding can have harmful negative effects on those involved. The stages of trauma bonding can make it extremely difficult to break free from the cycle of abuse.

If you or a loved one is a victim of trauma bonding, it’s important to know that there is a way out. Even though breaking free is difficult, you can implement some changes in your life to start the process of breaking the cycle.

Educate Yourself

Educating yourself about trauma bonding is a crucial first step. The ability to recognize the signs of abuse will give you the power to better understand your situation and seek help.

Set and Enforce Boundaries

Once you’re familiar with the basics of trauma bonding, try setting and enforcing boundaries. If your partner isn’t willing to respect these boundaries, you may have to make some tough decisions.

Seek Additional Support

Try to enlist your loved ones to support and encourage you during this time. If you don’t feel like you can talk to someone close to you, consider reaching out for professional support. A mental health professional who specializes in abuse and trauma treatment can help you break free and live a healthier life. Reach out today to get started.

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Therapie

Therapist in Nashville, TN

At Therapie, we offer individual and couples therapy, as well as weekend intensives and online courses, so you can get the support you need, when you need it. Our services include: individual counseling, premarital, and couples counseling. If you are working on issues related to work, your relationship or life, we got you.

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