When you’re a high-achieving person, you pride yourself on being very focused, disciplined, and driven to succeed. Your ability to be diligent and see a goal through to the end makes you someone who accomplishes great things that often far exceed general expectations. The high of being able to point to an endless list of accomplishments is certainly alluring, but for some individuals, it can come at a great cost.
The persistent need to succeed is often accompanied by underlying anxiety, which is being fueled by a number of factors.
Intense Perfectionism
In your quest for success, there is often very little room for mistakes or setbacks. When mistakes occur, you may be quick to judge yourself harshly and use your mistakes as an opportunity to push yourself harder rather than offer yourself kindness or grace. At times, you may even view your mistakes as a character flaw rather than a byproduct of stressful circumstances or human happenstance.
Fear of Failure
For individuals who are achievement-focused, failure is commonly not an option and in fact, a fear-inducing idea. This may be due to demanding parents in childhood who set unreasonably high expectations and lay down swift and brutal consequences. Conversely, the consequences may have been more subtle in childhood, such as facing a parent’s disappointment when you got anything less than an A+ on an assignment. Either way, failure has been something to be avoided at all costs.
Equating Self-Worth with Achievements
You may strongly believe that your value or your worth is dependent upon your accomplishments. The more you accomplish, the more you feel worthy. At some point, though, you may find yourself plagued with symptoms of burnout due to an inability to put the brakes on the constant search for the next milestone to meet or the next mountain to climb.
These three characteristics, which motivate high achievers, are the perfect recipe for anxiety. When you have achievement-oriented anxiety, it can be difficult to turn off, slow down, or regenerate. Therapy can be a helpful option.
At times, it can be difficult to want to let go of anxiety. You may believe that anxiety has helped you to get this far, and without it, you may not be as successful.
How Therapy Can Help
Shifting Perspective
Your current ways of operating are likely keeping you feeling stressed and overwhelmed. One of the ways therapy can help is it can support you to see things in a new light. With the assistance of a trained practitioner, you will identify self-limiting thoughts, find alternative ways to view a situation, and learn new and healthier ways of responding.
Identify Patterns
It’s nearly impossible to have clarity and insight around a way of being that feels normal to you. Therapy can support you to become aware of repetitive thoughts, behaviors, and responses, as well as learn to break unhealthy patterns that have led to your being anxious and on edge.
Learn Healthier Ways of Meeting Goals
It is possible to pursue achievements and success without being tied up in knots of anxiety. Therapy provides an opportunity to shift from uneasy perfectionism to more values-driven success. It can also help you to foster more self-compassion and self-understanding, which will increase resilience and decrease your risk of burnout.
Next Steps
Reach out today to explore how anxiety counseling can support you to live a more fulfilling, stress-free life while not sacrificing your aims and ambitions.
About the Author
Lalo Rivera, LPC, SEP is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. As the owner of The Listening Body Counseling Services, she is a firm believer in the transformative power of the mind-body connection as a portal for healing. She specializes in helping individuals overcome complex trauma and PTSD with body-oriented approaches.
