No matter how much you seem to have your sh*t together—perfect apartment, thriving at work, nailing your coffee order every time—the reality is your emotions are messy as hell, and some days your personality has more costume changes than Lady Gaga at the Super Bowl.

One minute you’re ready to dominate at work, score that promotion, finally justify buying that ridiculous designer coat, the next minute you just want to burrito yourself in blankets and binge Netflix. Meanwhile, your most important relationships somehow manage to be both your greatest joy and your biggest headache, making “can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em” feel like your personal motto. To be human is to be a walking contradiction, but damn if those contradictions don’t have terrible timing sometimes.

Internal Family Systems basically creates a lookbook for your psyche, cataloging all the different parts like you’re curating next season’s wardrobe. Instead of treating your emotions like they’re on some good/bad binary (unlike that regrettable socks-and-sandals phase or those quarantine bangs) IFS welcomes every part with genuine curiosity about what statement it’s trying to make.

Here’s how the IFS process typically goes down:

1. Meeting your cast of characters—getting familiar with all the different parts that make up your unique self and figuring out how each one influences your life. Whether they’re protecting you, roasting you, or carrying vintage baggage from your past, IFS recognizes every part has a purpose. Checking what’s actually in the closet.
2. Figuring out each part’s actual job. The goal is to stop seeing parts as the villain in your story and instead understand what they’re trying to accomplish—usually it’s protecting you, even if their methods are seriously outdated. Decoding the look each part is going for.
3. Healing the parts that are stuck in the past, holding onto trauma, pain, and fear like that jacket from 2010 you can’t let go of. As these parts start to heal, you’ll feel more centered, self-compassionate, and actually aligned with who you want to be. Tailoring for a perfect fit.
4. Getting your whole self coordinated as your parts learn to work as a team instead of competing for control. When your core self is running the show, anxiety and conflict naturally dial down. Strutting out confidently in your signature style.

As a client-centered, deeply integrative approach, IFS gives you serious tools for self-awareness, emotional healing, and real, lasting growth.