Dealing with grief can feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, you’re sad, down, and feeling a little depressed. The next minute, you may be filled with joy and peace as you reminisce on memories of your loved one who is no longer here.
The journey through the grieving process can make you experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It could feel like you’re stuck on a rollercoaster ride that won’t seem to end. The thing with grief is that it doesn’t look the same for anyone. Even two family members who are experiencing the same loss will experience grief according to their own terms.
Grief can make a person feel a variety of different emotions. But can grief make us overprotective? Let’s take a closer look at the effects of grief.
Overprotectiveness in Grief
Grief can cause overprotectiveness. Even though grief is a common emotion that most people will experience at least once throughout their lifetime, it’s also one of the most powerful emotions a person can experience. It can change how you view the world and communicate with others, and it can affect your sense of safety and well-being.
After experiencing a loss, a person is more likely to be controlling, cautious, or protective of others. These actions and behaviors are rooted in fear, and they can lead to overprotectiveness.
Factors that Lead to Overprotectiveness
The emotions that one experiences after a loss can be intense, and some can lead to the need to be overprotective. Let’s look at some of the most common factors of grief that can lead to overprotectiveness.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a common occurrence, especially when grief is left unresolved or not fully processed. Mental health challenges like anxiety, obsessions, or emotional dependence can come from unresolved grief.
Attachment
Showing love, care, and attachment is usually full of the best intentions. But a fear of losing these strong bonds can lead to feelings of overprotectiveness.
Fear
When a person experiences a traumatic loss, the possibility of it happening again can feel highly likely. This fear of repetition can fuel someone to try to control different scenarios in their day-to-day life to try to avoid getting hurt again.
Guilt
Grief and guilt often go hand in hand. More often than not, a person who is going through the grieving process will believe that they could have done more to prevent the loss from occurring. They may even experience survivor’s guilt or guilt for being alive while their loved one is gone. These feelings of guilt can cause a person to be overprotective of others, even if the guilt is completely irrational.
Impact on Relationships
There can be too much of a good thing. In life, it’s all about finding the balance. Even though wanting to protect someone is typically a good thing, overprotectiveness can actually be harmful. For example, overprotectiveness can limit or hinder a person’s independence. A person who is on the other side of an overprotective relationship may even experience feelings of resentment.
The constant anxiety, control, and fear that are part of being overprotective can increase fears and anxiety among others instead of creating a sense of safety and security. Being overprotective, especially mixed with unresolved grief, can actually prevent someone from fully healing. Instead, they may become stuck in a cycle of their fears and trying to gain control.
How to Find Balance
Healing from grief doesn’t mean that you completely forget about the loss that occurred or just go back to living your life like nothing ever happened. Healing just means being able to accept the loss that occurred while still being able to live your life.
If you’re struggling with acknowledging your thoughts and feelings, you’re not alone. This isn’t an easy process. Consider reaching out to a grief therapist for added support. We’re here when you’re ready.
