Oversharing is when you say something a little too personal or inappropriate, often to the wrong person or in the wrong setting. It can happen when you aren’t even aware it’s happening, even when you’re taking time to think before you speak.
Many people only realize they’ve overshared after coming home from a night out and analyzing their conversations. They might feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty. Sharing more than you should can be caused by feeling good and comfortable in the moment, but it can also come from nervous energy. There are several ways in which anxiety can cause us to overshare—let’s find out how and why this happens.
Fear of Rejection
Anxiety sometimes comes with a fear of rejection, which can be intense and irrational. A fear of being judged or excluded by others can be the cause of anxiety. However, it can also be the result of feeling anxious for other reasons.
A person struggling with anxiety might overshare as a way to come across as more relatable in an effort to connect with others and receive validation. They might worry that if they don’t open up and be honest about their thoughts and feelings, they could be misunderstood and rejected. While trying to be authentic and build trust, they end up oversharing.
Lack of Filter
Anxiety can cause disruptions and impairments to a person’s ability to monitor what is relevant or appropriate when it comes to sharing. Their internal filter can become confused or weakened, especially when under stress, which is a common occurrence with anxiety. When the body’s stress response is activated, it causes a heightened state of arousal, leading to cognitive overload.
Nervous Energy
Anxiety, especially social anxiety, can cause a person to feel awkward. These awkward feelings can make things like the natural silence in a conversation feel unbearable. To avoid the discomfort of sitting in silence, an anxious person might talk more and end up sharing more than they originally planned to.
Rumination
Anxiety and ruminating often go hand in hand. People who struggle with anxiety often replay situations and conversations in their head after they occur, analyzing what went well or what they need to improve upon. This rumination and overthinking can cause them to second-guess or even regret their actions and things they bring up in conversation.
Anxiety and rumination can turn into a vicious cycle that can become challenging to break free from. An anxious person may be more likely to ruminate, which can feed anxious thoughts.
Seeking Reassurance
Another common reason for oversharing is the search for reassurance and validation. People who struggle with anxiety also struggle with added stress, doubts, fears, and worries. By oversharing, they’re able to see how other people feel about what they’re expressing and whether anyone else is on the same page. Feelings of isolation or loneliness can lead to this need for connection through reassurance.
Steps You Can Take
As we’ve seen, anxiety can cause someone to overshare. If you notice that you’ve been oversharing a little bit more than normal lately and you want to get to the bottom of it, we’re here to help you. There’s a good chance that you’re struggling with a combination of oversharing and anxiety. One of the best ways to get on top of this is to figure out how, why, and when anxiety is triggering these actions and behaviors.
There are certain techniques that you can implement to control the symptoms you’re experiencing. But there isn’t a replacement for additional support from a mental health professional. Reach out today to get started by setting up an initial consultation for anxiety treatment.
