Therapie | 210 25th Ave N suite 601, Nashville, TN 37203 | Call: (615) 551 9195

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Why Do We Keep Having The Same Fights?

Does it ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you and your partner keep getting stuck in the same frustrating patterns? You’re not alone. Most relationship struggles come from emotional disconnection—not a lack of effort or love.

That’s where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) comes in. Instead of focusing solely on surface-level communication skills, EFT gets to the heart of what’s really going on: the emotional bonds that shape your relationship.

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Attachment. It’s such a loaded word these days, especially in the age of “therapy speak.” You’ve probably heard the terms anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and insecurity posted across self-help books and message boards—but what do these words really mean? Just another way to describe your so-called “baggage” or a chance to blame Mom and Dad for all of your “issues”? In reality, relationship dynamics are more complex than that and cannot usually be boiled down to just a couple of descriptors. 

Emotionally Focused Therapy—or EFT—is the therapeutic model that meaningfully revolutionized the concept of healthy attachments and their role in fostering deep, lasting emotional connections. 

It probably comes as no surprise that our earliest bonds form the basis for our relational behaviors and self-understanding moving forward, but often, especially when we are trapped in unhealthy patterns, we have a hard time connecting the dots between current hurdles and early attachment models. EFT helps couples move beyond reactive patterns and emotional disconnection, toward feeling seen, heard, and secure in their most important relationships.

Interested in EFT therapy? Send us a message!

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A Brief History Of EFT

In the 1980s, psychologists Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg noticed something troubling: many couples they worked with weren’t finding lasting relief through traditional therapy methods. Why? Because those methods treated emotions as something individual—something you manage on your own—rather than something shaped by the relationship itself.

Johnson and Greenberg realized that emotions aren’t just personal feelings. They’re part of the bond between two people, influenced by early experiences and attachment patterns. When couples began to understand how their emotional reactions were shaped by their relationship dynamics—and learned how to respond to each other’s emotions with empathy and care—something powerful happened: their connections grew stronger, more secure, and more supportive.

This realization became the foundation of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most effective approaches for creating lasting change in relationships.

How Can EFT Help?

Emotionally Focused Therapy can be useful to clients facing many different forms of relational distress. Typically, we incorporate EFT in treatment for those experiencing:

  • Communication issues
  • Major life changes
  • Chronic conflict
  • Emotional disconnection
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Lack of trust
  • Trauma (including betrayal trauma as the result of an affair)

And while this approach was initially developed as a couples-specific intervention, Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) can be very beneficial to clients in individual counseling who have trouble establishing boundaries, sustaining strong connections, or getting their emotional needs met. 

EFT Is Foundational To Our Counseling Approach

At Therapie, we’re huge nerds about attachment theory and passionate about building healthy emotional connections. All of our therapists are highly experienced and well-versed in EFT principles, and we incorporate them into our work with just about every client—especially when it comes to relational/interpersonal challenges. 

Furthermore, as a highly structured approach, our motivated and high-achieving clients respond well to the step-by-step process of breaking down unhealthy cycles. We do this by:

  1. Recognizing the emotional patterns keeping you stuck.
  2. Understanding the underlying feelings driving conflict.
  3. Expressing your emotions in ways that bring you closer rather than push you apart.
  4. Creating new, healthier ways of relating to your partner and yourself.

During this process, you will gain a new understanding of the big scary “A” word and how individual attachments impact the relationship as a whole, resulting in more resilient and fulfilling connections. Slowly, you’ll see your partnership move from opposite corners of the boxing ring to approaching issues from a unified, collaborative perspective—and you’re likely to see all of your relationships improve as well. 

Emotionally Focused Therapy Works

The clients we work with in couples and individual counseling have gained incredible personal and relational insights through the use of EFT. Research aside, we’ve seen with our own eyes the ability to transform relational dynamics by fostering a deeper understanding of how early relationship models formed our basis for our self-understanding and relating to the world around us. 

Through the use of EFT, you are likely to leave counseling with:

  • Improved communication
  • Heightened understanding of yourself and others
  • Tools for conflict-resolution
  • Enhanced empathy and responsiveness
  • Deeper emotional connections
  • Strategies for sustaining healthy attachments

EFT is the manual for relationship maintenance. No longer does the concept of attachment have to conjure complicated emotions or Freudian nightmares—our therapists will work with you to create healthy and emotionally fulfilling connections that last. 

Go From Attacks To Attachment

If you find yourselves stuck in painful cycles of conflict or emotional disconnection, Emotionally Focused Therapy can help you break free. Together, we’ll work to create a relationship where both partners feel seen, heard, and secure. For more information or to schedule a consultation with one of our EFT therapists, contact us.

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-relationships/202101/the-most-effective-couples-therapy-by-far

210 25th Ave N suite 601, Nashville, TN 37203