
Why Do We Keep Having The Same Fights?
Does it ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you and your partner keep getting stuck in the same frustrating patterns? You’re not alone. Most relationship struggles come from emotional disconnection—not a lack of effort or love.
That’s where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) comes in. Instead of focusing solely on surface-level communication skills, EFT gets to the heart of what’s really going on: the emotional bonds that shape your relationship.
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Attachment. It’s such a loaded word these days, especially in the age of “therapy speak.” You’ve probably heard the terms anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and insecurity posted across self-help books and message boards—but what do these words really mean? Just another way to describe your so-called “baggage” or a chance to blame Mom and Dad for all of your “issues”? In reality, relationship dynamics are more complex than that and cannot usually be boiled down to just a couple of descriptors.
Emotionally Focused Therapy—or EFT—is the therapeutic model that meaningfully revolutionized the concept of healthy attachments and their role in fostering deep, lasting emotional connections.
It probably comes as no surprise that our earliest bonds form the basis for our relational behaviors and self-understanding moving forward, but often, especially when we are trapped in unhealthy patterns, we have a hard time connecting the dots between current hurdles and early attachment models. EFT helps couples move beyond reactive patterns and emotional disconnection, toward feeling seen, heard, and secure in their most important relationships.