It’s hardly breaking news that parenting is stressful. What else could it be when you’re fully responsible for the well-being of a helpless child, but you still have to tend to all your other obligations at the same time? So yeah, by definition, parenting is stressful. But things do seem to be escalating at an unusual rate.
More than half of today’s parents report feeling, on most days, utterly overwhelmed. For non-parents, that number is about 20 percent. Considering the negative impact of chronic stress, it’s obviously high time to address the widespread problem of parental burnout. But how?
What Do You Mean By Parental Burnout?
We take on the task of parenting without training, learn on the job, and have no days off. Without self-care strategies and professional support for mothers, this is a recipe for mental and physical exhaustion. The pressure outweighs your resources, and the result is often called burnout. In fact, to build on the numbers listed above, a recent study found that two-thirds of parents call themselves burnt out.
Possible Signs of Parental Burnout
Even the most burnt-out parent still loves their children. They’re just struggling to attain a healthy balance as a caregiver. Such a lack of balance can manifest like this:
- Sleep disturbances
- Irritability
- Relentless worry
- Feeling like you never get enough done
- Wishing you could disconnect from your child
- Physical issues like headaches, exhaustion, and muscle tension
- Experiencing dissatisfaction with the role of a parent
- Feeling like a failure as a parent when comparing yourself to others
6 Ways to Cope with Parenting Stress
1. Learning More About Parental Stressors
An excellent source of solace is to have an idea of what’s on the horizon. For example, as your child grows, the sources of parental stress will mostly evolve:
- It begins in early childhood with a combination of not enough sleep and too much self-doubt. In addition, there are all the adjustments in your relationship, work life, social life, etc.
- As your kids enter and progress through school, you’ll be called on to help them with academics, social lives, and hectic schedules.
- Then come the teen years, when you try to balance control and independence as peer pressure becomes dominant in your child’s life.
2. Resist Perfectionism
There has always been a fair amount of comparisons happening, but social media has turned this into a feeding frenzy. Carefully designed profiles give the illusion that “super” parents exist — and you’re not one of them. Step away from your devices and set realistic expectations. It’s not a competition.
3. Practice Diligent Self-Care
Self-compassion is non-negotiable. Fortify your well-being by making healthy daily choices, such as eating, sleeping, exercising, engaging in social interactions, and using relaxation techniques.
4. Take Breaks
Coordinate with your partner or anyone who can help so that you have a little bit of time each day to decompress and recharge. Even just stepping outside for some sun and fresh air can be a game-changer.
5. Never Neglect Your Finances
Money is traditionally a major stressor in relationships. It’s crucial that you keep your finances in order if, for no other reason, you want to avoid adding to your parental stress. Budget carefully, and if you need advice, ask for help.
6. Speaking of Getting Some Help
It takes a village. No one should expect you (or anyone) to have all the parenting answers and solutions. Connect with trusted friends and family members to create a network you can rely on. Having someone stop by to help also gives you social time with adults.
In this digital age, therapy is more available than ever. If parenting stress is becoming too much, tele-therapy might be the ideal method for getting the professional help you deserve. Reach out today to set up your first appointment.
About the Author
Deborah Duley, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker and founder of the Leonardtown, MD-based mental health practice, Empowered Connections, LLC. She works closely with children, teens, and women, including members of the LGBTQ+ community on a wide range of presenting concerns using therapeutic modalities such as brainspotting and EMDR. She offers sessions online and in person in both English and Spanish.
