
The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. The overall goal of the Gottman Method is to reduce conflict within verbal communication while increasing affection, intimacy, and respect. It also aims to prevent relationships from becoming tedious or stagnant while building greater empathy and understanding.
The Gottman Method has seven key principles based on The Sound Relationship House theory. Read on to learn more about how each of them can contribute to a strong, healthy relationship.
Build Love Maps
A love map is essentially a deep understanding between partners in a relationship. Building love maps is the step that each partner takes to better understand one another’s personal lives. This principle involves getting a better understanding of each partner’s hopes, dreams, worries, and stressors.
Taking this step to better understand one another helps partners understand one another’s inner workings—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Love maps are an essential part of all healthy types of relationships.
Share Fondness and Admiration
Respect is the basis of all relationships. Fondness and admiration come along with it. When you give your partner the respect they need and deserve, good things are likely to follow.
Respect builds your partner up and allows you both to show a mutual appreciation for one another. Your relationship becomes a lot more enjoyable when you each are working toward these key elements.
Turn Toward Instead of Away
Make sure you’re turning toward your partner instead of away, especially in times of stress. It’s important to be there for each other no matter what. When you need your partner, you should be able to expect them to be there for you.
Even when times are hard, it’s important to show up for them just as they would for you. Being there for one another helps to provide a strong base and foundation for your relationship moving forward.
Maintain a Positive Perspective
Maintaining a positive perspective doesn’t mean you and your partner need to agree on everything. You are unique individuals, and you’re bound to have a few disagreements or different views from one another.
Being willing to keep an open mind is central to maintaining a positive perspective in a relationship. This will help you come together for a mutual compromise that benefits everyone, regardless of your differences.
Manage Conflict
Healthy relationships still experience conflict from time to time. According to the Gottman Method, there are two types of conflict within relationships: perpetual and solvable. Some of the conflicts in a relationship can be fully fixed while other conflicts may never completely go away. Learning to manage both types is crucial.
Make Life Dreams Come True
When you’re in a relationship, you should want what’s best for your partner and the relationship you share together. This means working together to make sure that you are meeting your personal goals as well as your shared goals. They’re both equally as important. Make sure you have a safe and secure space with one another to openly and honestly talk about different areas of your lives.
Create Shared Meaning
Being in a relationship means coming together with your partner to create something new. It’s important to create shared meaning through your shared beliefs, goals, and perspectives. One way to do this is by developing rituals that are important to your relationship. Over time, these shared experiences can help to strengthen affection and intimacy.
The Gottman Method and Your Relationship
Relationships take a lot of work, but the time and effort are worth it. No matter if you and your partner are two peas in a pod or if you’re struggling with communication, the Gottman Method could be a well-suited option for you to create a stronger dynamic with your partner. Reach out today to learn more.