
Couples therapy can work wonders in strengthening a relationship. By working together in therapy, couples can maintain a healthy relationship by opening up and honestly communicating with each other.
The Gottman Method is one of the many different forms of couples therapy that can help partners improve their connections with each other. Let’s learn more about Gottman Therapy and how it works.
What Is Gottman Therapy?
The Gottman Method is a form of couples therapy that looks closely at the impact that negativity can have on relationships. It’s all too easy for couples to become stuck in negative patterns that become difficult to break.
The idea behind the Gottman Method is to teach couples how to make small, positive changes in how they manage their interactions. It teaches couples how to make improvements in their communication so they can connect on continually deeper, more meaningful levels.
The Sound Relationship House
The Sound Relationship House theory is a framework that is used to represent the most essential parts of a strong relationship. The house is made up of two structural pillars and seven different levels, which make up nine aspects of a healthy relationship. Below are the nine components of a healthy relationship:
1. Build Love Maps
Building love maps forms the foundation of the house. This involves getting to know your partner’s inner world, such as their dreams, hopes, joys, and worries. Having a deep understanding of your partner encourages powerful compassion and empathy.
2. Share Fondness and Admiration
Instead of focusing on what your partner is doing wrong, try to focus on what they’re doing right. Sharing fondness and admiration helps couples show their appreciation and respect for each other. These types of interactions allow open and honest communication, which makes resolving conflicts easier and more effective.
3. Turn Toward Instead of Away
Turning toward your partner instead of away means being fully present and engaged when they express their emotional needs. Taking the time to show your support for each other can create a safe space for improved connection.
4. The Positive Perspective
Conflict is inevitable when you’re in a relationship. No matter how strong your bond is or how similar you are, you won’t agree on everything. Keep in mind that when you’re engaging in conflict, you’re not fighting to win. You and your partner are working to find a mutual resolution that ideally meets both of your needs.
5. Manage Conflict
There are two main types of relationship conflicts according to the Gottman Method: solvable and perpetual. Learning how to better manage the perpetual conflicts you have with your partner can go a long way in improving the quality of your relationship.
6. Make Life Dreams Come True
Partners in healthy relationships should be able to share their life dreams and goals with each other. It’s important to know your partner wants you to have the life you want and is willing to help you get there.
7. Create Shared Meaning
The top of the house represents creating shared meaning. This means exploring and celebrating how you work well as a team. It could involve the realms of friendship, home, sex, and finances.
8. Trust
One structural pillar of the Sound Relationship House is trust. John Gottman created an acronym for fostering trust with the word “ATTUNE,” which stands for Awareness, Turning toward, Tolerance, Understanding, Non-defensive responding, and Empathy.
9. Commitment
The other pillar is commitment. Life is filled with ups and downs. If you and your partner are in it together for the long haul, it’s important to know that your partner is committed to you through the good and bad.
Gottman Therapy and Your Relationship
The overall goal of the Gottman Method is to enhance friendship, better manage conflict, and create a deeper emotional connection within a relationship. If you’re interested in exploring the Gottman Method and seeing if it could be beneficial for you and your partner, reach out today.