
For many people, the calendar year is marked by a mix of anticipated joys—birthdays, holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, relationship milestones, and more. For some, however, certain dates serve as painful reminders of past losses and negative experiences.
Grief is a complex journey. Recurring grief adds another layer of challenge, forcing us to confront difficult emotions year after year. Unfortunately, we can’t simply skip over these dates. Instead, we must learn to navigate and process the emotions that resurface each time. Let’s learn more about the heightened emotions people may experience on significant dates related to loss.
Anger
It’s common to feel anger, blame, and jealousy after experiencing loss. It’s often accompanied by feelings of pain and helplessness. Even if the loss occurred months or years ago, being reminded of the loss from a specific date or memory can cause someone to experience those feelings of anger or resentment again.
Anxiety
Anxiety and grief often go hand in hand. Worry, panic, and fear can arise when thoughts turn to the loss, even years later. When reminded of a specific date, like the anniversary of a loss or the birthday of a loved one, the anxiety symptoms of someone grieving can reappear. These anxious thoughts can make you question your own life and what may happen to other people that you’re close to.
Confusion
Grief can be deeply disorienting. A person experiencing grief may find themselves searching for answers that seem to be unattainable. While everyone experiences grief at some point in their life, each person’s experience is unique.
The type of loss that occurred, the relationship with the loved one, and a person’s life experiences will all have an effect on how one grieves. Feeling confused is common. The thoughts and feelings one experiences while going through the grieving process can be extremely overwhelming and even make it challenging to get through each day.
Guilt
Guilt is another common emotion that a person can experience when they’re going through the grieving process. It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, but that doesn’t mean they’re rooted in fact. It’s entirely possible to feel guilt even when you didn’t actually do anything to cause the loss that occurred.
It’s normal to question whether you did something wrong or to feel guilty for being alive when someone you love is no longer with you. This is especially true on the anniversaries of a loss.
Sadness
Feeling down, sad, and alone are also completely normal emotions to experience when navigating grief. Going through a loss can cause feelings of extreme loneliness, which can turn into a vicious cycle of further sadness and isolation.
If feelings of sadness don’t get better over time, they can sometimes lead to serious depression. If you find yourself experiencing the signs or symptoms of depression, it’s important to seek additional support.
Coping with Recurring Grief
Experiencing difficult emotions after a loss is part of the grieving process. Everyone grieves differently, and there isn’t a right or wrong way to do it. For some, the grieving process will extend for many months or years after a loss. It’s common to experience heightened emotions on significant dates related to a loss, and recurring grief can turn into a cycle that is difficult to break.
Grief is so much more than just being sad about someone passing away. It encompasses a wide range of emotions, and dealing with it alone often isn’t the best course of action. If you need additional support managing difficult emotions related to a loss, you’re not alone. Reach out today to learn more about how grief counseling with a mental health professional can help.