People often associate women with being the worriers in relationships. Countless television shows, movies, songs, and music videos portray women as the ones waiting by their phones for a call or a text from the person they’re dating. They’re shown as tending to fear that they’ll do or say the wrong thing, compare themselves to other women, and worry that they aren’t good enough for their partners.
We may be more familiar with the idea that women are the worriers in relationships, but this is not a uniquely feminine trait. Men are also fully capable of experiencing worry and anxiety. Read on to learn more about male anxiety in relationships.
Cause of Male Anxiety
Male anxiety isn’t widely talked about. This is partly due to the societal expectations and pressures that men face. A lot of men push their feelings deep down inside to not appear weak or emotional. Here are some potential causes of anxiety in men.
Attachment Style
All children form attachments with their primary caregivers. An attachment style can be either healthy or unhealthy depending on how a parent or primary caregiver treats their children. Adults may experience issues in their relationships due to unresolved trauma or insecurities that were formed through unhealthy attachments as children.
Childhood Trauma
Childhood trauma is one of the causes of anxiety in men. Trauma that was experienced as a child can impact how men act in adult relationships. If abuse or neglect happened during childhood, they may have unresolved anxiety, fear of abandonment, or difficulty managing their own emotions as adults.
Past Relationships
Past relationships can also trigger anxiety in men. They may have had a former toxic relationship that resulted in fear, distrust, and worry that they’ll carry with them into future relationships. This can negatively influence their interactions with new partners.
The Signs and Symptoms
The signs and symptoms of anxiety tend to look the same no matter the gender. Men do experience a few signs and symptoms that are less associated with women. Here are the most common signs and symptoms of anxiety in men:
- Anger
- Chronic headaches
- Fear of vulnerability
- Increased heart rate
- Muscle aches and pains
- Repression of emotions
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., alcohol, reckless driving, drugs, gambling, unsafe sex)
- Worry about losing their sense of independence
The Effect on Relationships
When anxiety is left untreated, it can cause a whole host of other issues. Let’s explore some of the effects that anxiety can have on a relationship.
Communication Issues
Communication is key in any type of relationship. Due to societal norms, men may have a harder time expressing their thoughts and emotions to their partner. This can be especially true for men with anxiety, and this lack of quality communication can lead to trust issues and feelings of disconnection.
Need for Control
Anxiety can make it feel like you’ve lost control over your life. Some men will try to regain control by controlling their partner. This can lead to unhealthy patterns that can be difficult to break.
Unresolved Conflict
Anxiety can turn even minor disagreements into major ones. People struggling with anxiety may react defensively or without thinking before they speak, which can lead to other issues in the relationship. Even the smallest of fights can turn into major unresolved problems when one partner is struggling with anxiety.
How to Manage Relationship Anxiety
If you’re struggling with anxiety in your relationship, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. There are several lifestyle changes and coping mechanisms that can help you overcome your anxiety. Incorporating open and honest communication in your relationship, taking care of yourself, challenging negative thoughts, and setting boundaries can help you start to feel better and calmer from the inside out.
If you need additional support, working with a couples or anxiety therapist can be extremely beneficial. Reaching out today could set you on the path to improving your relationship and quality of life.
