Let’s face it: relationships can be both wonderful and terrible, providing us with the highest highs and lowest lows. If you spend any amount of time with a committed partner, feelings of disconnection, dissatisfaction, and a lack of resolution can show up. And such feelings indicate that both of you need to pay attention to what is happening so that you can successfully build trust and connection.
Whether you’re just starting out in your intimate partnership or you have made a long-term commitment to one another, it’s important that both of you learn how you came up against certain obstacles and what you can do to reconnect. But this can throw a wrench in your relationship maintenance for many reasons.
You are absolutely killing it at work and having to juggle the demands of your career, on top of friends, family, kids, and your relationship can be challenging. As a result, you may have noticed tension or resentment building, and your relationship is starting to feel more like that of two roommates rather than that of spouses or a long-term, intimate partnership. Or perhaps you two are running into consistent misunderstandings. Despite you giving it your best shot hoping to improve the situation, things seem to escalate and never get better.
So here you are now—in the same cycle of conflict and argumentation that never seems to resolve itself. Believe us, we at Therapie can relate! You two may be fighting constantly or freezing each other out in silence. And perhaps you’re beginning to wonder if you are still on the same page, with the same shared goals in mind.
But maybe you may find that none of this struggle applies to your relationship… at least not yet.
Perhaps you’re just trying to be proactive in creating the strongest bond possible as you plan your next steps together—steps that may involve living together, getting married, and starting a family. You may be in search of some objective guidance from a professional who can help you in setting and adjusting certain expectations. Or perhaps you’re simply interested in setting a stable foundation with your significant other so that, together, you can tackle the obstacles that will inevitably arise down the line.
Our hats are off to you, and your relationship is likely giddy knowing it is getting the attention it deserves! All couples, no matter the circumstances, can benefit from couples therapy in Nashville. And with our clinicians, you and your partner will find an open and empathetic space to explore the ins and outs of your relationship.
Based on data provided by renowned therapist John Gottman, couples spend an average of six years in ongoing conflict and gridlock before seeking the help of a professional (source). Yikes! This means that by the time most couples come to counseling, they have already established certain patterns and cycles of conflict that will likely hinder their progress over time.
To make matters even more complex, your relationship did not start off as a blank slate. As humans, we learn how to be in a relationship with one another early on—like really, really early. We pick up templates on how to connect and how to navigate differences. The tricky part, though, is that those templates often run in the background and beyond our awareness. What makes us feel better may not be the thing that helps our partner, and vice versa. And if our templates happen to clash, well, things can get ugly.
At Therapie in Nashville, we like to think of couples therapy as a means of interpreting and applying your partner’s owner’s manual so that you can have the most satisfying relationship possible! And even if your relationship is on the right track now, marriage counseling in Nashville can help you to better understand, anticipate, and adapt to your needs as a couple.
Whether you’re just starting out in your relationship or struggling with ongoing conflict and issues with communication, satisfaction, intimacy, or trust, couples therapy in Nashville can provide you with meaningful insight and clarity. As you begin to explore your relationship in-depth, you can understand what is taking place within your partnership, how it is affecting both of you, and how you can improve your day-to-day life.
It all starts with a first meeting, which is really about getting to know one another. You will have a chance to learn more about your couples therapist, and they will have a chance to start understanding your story, including the current struggles you face and the individual strengths you possess. During this time, you will also have a chance to discuss and decide with your partner what you’d like the format of therapy to be.
At Therapie in Nashville, we offer traditional 80-minute couples therapy sessions on an ongoing basis, as well as sessions that are concentrated in the span of a few days. These “marathon” sessions are typically meant for couples who need help quickly, out-of-towners, or those who have time constraints that would prevent them from committing to longer-term therapy sessions.
No matter what format you decide to go with, the goal of couples therapy in Nashville will be to build and understand one another’s owner’s manual. All of our couples therapists are highly skilled, and—nerds at heart—they continually seek further education to provide the best care for your relationship possible.
For folks interested in theoretical approaches: we are trained in and draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples as designed by Sue Johnson, Ed.D., The Gottman Method by John and Julie Gottman, Ph.D., and the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) by Stan Tatkin, Psy.D.. Being committed to doing this work will help you learn the skill set to clearly interpret why you are getting stuck and what to do about it when you come up against such conflict in the future.
You two are likely already a power-couple and force to be reckoned with. Imagine what life could be like as a couple when all of that potential and force is unleashed in the context of marriage counseling!
We have found that when one partner is hesitant to attend therapy, they often maintain the belief that they are fine and that it’s their partner who has the problem or needs to change. And while there may be the idea—however accurate or not—that one person is “fine” on an individual level, any of us in a relationship has a vested interest in improving circumstances for our partner.
Therapy allows you to understand the toll that ongoing conflict is having on your partnership and, in turn, gives you a chance to clarify your values both as individuals and as a couple. So, while we have seen one partner in a couple demonstrate more enthusiasm for counseling at the outset, we are confident that we can get you both to see the value of therapy in developing a stronger connection and living your best life.
Couples therapy is a great opportunity to pause, step back, and get clear on your expectations so that there can be more harmony in the relationship. If you find that your fights have become too unmanageable or overwhelming, a professional, warm therapist—who is not afraid to meet you where you are in your relationship—can serve as a great resource to calm and clarify the conversation. And even if it’s ultimately decided that the relationship needs to end, couples therapy can help you to do so respectfully and with less conflict.
We find that oftentimes, whether or not couples stay together is more of an issue of willingness than one of ability. If you are willing to put in the effort and work, it’s likely that you and your partner will begin to uncover the seed of what sparked your connection in the first place–and we are here to help you reignite that flame.
You bet. Investing in couples therapy in Nashville while things between you and your partner are relatively good is not only a smart decision—it’s an economically savvy one. By laying the foundation for empathy, understanding, and conflict-resolution now, you will save yourselves from the heartaches, headaches, and financial strain experienced by so many couples who have become stuck in negative patterns.
Couples therapy in Nashville sets you up for success so that you have a more thorough understanding of all of your relationships and so that you can spend those benjamins on dates—not lawyers.
If you are tired of the conflict and disconnect that has plagued your relationship, couples therapy in Nashville can help you and your partner move forward. For more information or to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation, you can schedule online or shoot us a contact form.